ripping off the scab

I'm not sure what's worse... catching a permit or not catching a permit. In celebration of Eric's 40th we spent 4 days chasing these demonic creatures in Ascension bay Mexico and luckily we all landed at least 1. This would suggest happiness. And yes, catching is better than not catching. But landing one of these wily devils is not satisfying. just feeds the addiction. We had success, 8 permit landed in 4 days among 4 guys. Success. We all caught at least 1. Did I mention that we all caught at least 1 yet? That was our goal... but goals evolve. The first to hand was special. But within seconds the first becomes nothing more than the first. More and bigger permit are needed to satiate the hunger in your gut/mind/soul. Bart and I doubled up on our first (sight casting at the edges of a giant school) and within seconds of releasing our fish... we were chasing the school again on foot. No ah hah moment when the world slows down and you get to rattle-off the long list of thank yous to the people who supported and inspired your dream since you were 5yrs ... None of that. A quick shout/high five and then back at it. I guess to be fair, there was a brief blip of a moment when I felt relief coupled with awareness that I would finally be spared from the tedious chore of explaining... yet again... to everyone... wife, neighbors, colleagues, in-laws, kids, sisters (and to this stupid blog) how I didn't catch one "but still had fun." In catching one you also see your future… the pursuit of more.  We met a guy who was chasing his 40th permit, alone, on a lone-wolf-self-torture/fix-mission-bender. Another guy was chasing his 27th (he was in his 70s and has been casting to permit since the 1970s).  I'm not sure what the answer is to this absurd sport. Guess maybe "one more" into perpetuity. The trip was epic on many levels, great to celebrate Eric. Great food. Great laughs. Some bizarre characters (a crazy Texan named Eugene. Of course. A 10ft saltwater croc encounter caught on video, that my kids want to see almost every day. A BB Gun competition that will outlive all the fishing stories. Several story book misses on giant fish (sorry to bring that up a second time in public Bart). Great margaritas/tequilas. [Someone] nearly losing a foot or leg to a VW beetle in a parking lot. Dice. And some awesome hosts at a place we're going to keep quite about on the internet for selfish reasons. Thank God a bunch of people I know are turning 40 in the coming years, which should mean I get to try for "just one more". Can't wait.